Description
Overview
“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” – William James
Shame is everywhere. Whenever we feel bad about ourselves, for whatever reason, there is a touch of shame. Shame can occur when we feel judged by others or when we judge ourselves. It can happen when we do something wrong and when we’re entirely innocent of wrongdoing. Shame strikes at the core of our being but has nothing to do with who we really are.
Shame is the most difficult human emotion. What makes shame so challenging is that most of us would rather do anything than feel shame. Our first instinct is to “go small, go silent, or go away.” Sometimes we go on the attack, criticizing ourselves or others. We may also try to numb ourselves by escaping into unhealthy behaviors. When shame is present in our lives, there’s often no one home to work with it.
Self-compassion is an antidote to shame. It’s the opposite of shame—self-kindness instead of self-criticism, common humanity instead of isolation, and mindfulness instead of rumination. The process of alleviating shame begins by recognizing that shame is an innocent emotion—it arises from the universal wish to be loved. If we didn’t wish to be loved, we wouldn’t feel shame. The next step is to give ourselves the compassion we so desperately need—self-compassion.
This workshop is an experiential journey into self-compassion for shame. We will explore the nature of shame, it’s causes (including social oppression), and learn simple skills to identify shame in our daily lives and transform it, safely and effectively, through the power of self-compassion. Meditation practitioners will be able to integrate these tools into their contemplative practices and psychotherapists will learn new skills to work with shame in clinical settings.
Learning Objectives
- Summarize the theory and research on shame
- Identify the evolutionary and developmental origins of shame
- Apply the three components of self-compassion to the experience of shame
- Integrate self-compassion skills for shame into daily life.
- Teach simple practices to clients to alleviate shame
